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<TITLE>JavaScript Source Code 3000:  Messages:  Random Computer Quote</TITLE>
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<META NAME="date" CONTENT="2000-09-09">
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<META NAME="author" CONTENT="JavaScript Source Code 3000">
<META NAME="section" CONTENT="Messages">
<META NAME="description" CONTENT="If you are a computer junkie, like us, then you probably will get a kick out of these random computer quotes all written by JavaScript.">

<SCRIPT LANGUAGE="JavaScript">
<!-- Begin
function stClock() {
window.setTimeout( "stClock()", 1000 );
today = new Date();
self.status = today.toString();
}
function getMessage() {
var ar = new Array(20)
ar[0] = "Buy a Pentium 586/90 so you can reboot faster."
ar[1] = "2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2."
ar[2] = "Anything that can go wrong will go wrong."
ar[3] = "Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes."
ar[4] = "My software never has bugs. It just develops random features."
ar[5] = "If anything simply cannot go wrong, it will anyway."
ar[6] = "Best file compression around: \"DEL *.*\" = 100% compression"
ar[7] = "The Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in."
ar[8] = "If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something."
ar[9] = "BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding"
ar[10] = "BUFFERS=20 FILES=15 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go!"
ar[11] = "It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious."
ar[12] = "Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaay..."
ar[13] = "Every solution breeds new problems."
ar[14] = "As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing."
ar[15] = "Two wrongs are only the beginning."
ar[16] = "Shell to DOS... Come in DOS, do you copy? Shell to DOS..."
ar[17] = "All computers wait at the same speed."
ar[18] = "DEFINITION: Computer - A device designed to speed and automate errors."
ar[19] = "Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view."
var now = new Date()
var sec = now.getSeconds()
alert("Quote:\r" + ar[sec % 20])
}
// End -->
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Home</A> </b><img src="../img/arrow.gif" /img/arrow.gif" height=13 width=7 border=0 alt="}"> <b><A HREF="index.htm" /messages/"><font color="#FF0000">Messages</font></A> </b>
<img src="../img/arrow.gif" /img/arrow.gif" height=13 width=7 border=0 alt="}"> <FONT COLOR="#006666">Random Computer Quote</FONT></b></FONT><BR>
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<!-- Description --><!--content_start-->

If you are a computer junkie, like us, then you probably will get a kick out of 
these random computer quotes all written by JavaScript.<br><hr>
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<INPUT TYPE="button" VALUE="Random Computer Quote" onClick="getMessage()">
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<tr><td BGCOLOR=yellow><font FACE="helvetica,arial,geneva"><b>JavaScript Source Code 3000:  Messages:  Random Computer Quote</b>
<p>Simply click inside the window below, use your cursor to highlight the script, and copy (type Control-c or Apple-c) the script into a new file in your text editor (such as NotePad or SimpleText) and save (Control-s or Apple-s).  The script is yours!<br><br></font></td></tr>
<tr><td BGCOLOR=yellow ALIGN=CENTER>
<form NAME="copy">

<DIV align="center">
<input type=button value="Highlight All" onClick="javascript:this.form.txt.focus();this.form.txt.select();">&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;
<INPUT TYPE="text" NAME="total" VALUE="Script Size:  2.36 KB  " size="24">
</DIV>

<textarea NAME="txt" ROWS=20 COLS=75 WRAP=VIRTUAL>

&lt;!-- THREE STEPS TO INSTALL RANDOM COMPUTER QUOTE:

   1.  Paste the coding into the HEAD of your HTML document
   2.  Copy the onLoad event handler into the BODY tag
   3.  Add the last code into the BODY of your HTML document  --&gt;

&lt;!-- STEP ONE: Copy this code into the HEAD of your HTML document  --&gt;

&lt;HEAD&gt;

&lt;SCRIPT LANGUAGE="JavaScript"&gt;

&lt;! &gt;
&lt;! &gt;

&lt;!-- Begin
function stClock() {
window.setTimeout( "stClock()", 1000 );
today = new Date();
self.status = today.toString();
}
function getMessage() {
var ar = new Array(20)
ar[0] = "Buy a Pentium 586/90 so you can reboot faster."
ar[1] = "2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2."
ar[2] = "Anything that can go wrong will go wrong."
ar[3] = "Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes."
ar[4] = "My software never has bugs. It just develops random features."
ar[5] = "If anything simply cannot go wrong, it will anyway."
ar[6] = "Best file compression around: \"DEL *.*\" = 100% compression"
ar[7] = "The Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in."
ar[8] = "If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something."
ar[9] = "BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding"
ar[10] = "BUFFERS=20 FILES=15 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go!"
ar[11] = "It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious."
ar[12] = "Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaay..."
ar[13] = "Every solution breeds new problems."
ar[14] = "As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing."
ar[15] = "Two wrongs are only the beginning."
ar[16] = "Shell to DOS... Come in DOS, do you copy? Shell to DOS..."
ar[17] = "All computers wait at the same speed."
ar[18] = "DEFINITION: Computer - A device designed to speed and automate errors."
ar[19] = "Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view."
var now = new Date()
var sec = now.getSeconds()
alert("Quote:\r" + ar[sec % 20])
}
// End --&gt;
&lt;/SCRIPT&gt;

&lt;!-- STEP TWO: Add this onLoad event handler into the BODY tag  --&gt;

&lt;BODY onLoad="stClock()"&gt;

&lt;!-- STEP THREE: Put this code into the BODY of your HTML document  --&gt;

&lt;CENTER&gt;
&lt;FORM&gt;
&lt;INPUT TYPE="button" VALUE="Random Computer Quote" onClick="getMessage()"&gt;
&lt;/FORM&gt;
&lt;/CENTER&gt;

 

&lt;!-- Script Size:  2.36 KB  --&gt;
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